life update

"I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." - Edward Everett Hale

I realized I hadn't posted in a while, so I figured I'd come make a life update. Life consisting of family, friends, school, and internship... oh, my personal life too haha.

Family is good. Living at home has been a pretty positive experience so far. Really enjoy being around my family and having them there for moral support. My godson turned 2 last week :) He got to happily spend it with his Dad who was home for his Army R&R.

I haven't been spending as much time with friends as I find I usually do. I have been neglecting some friends, and have been trying to make it up since I have a bit more free time than I usually do. I have been sort of anti-social (or even slightly lazy) lately. I do really need to get out of the house more...

School is well... school. I am only taking one class with internship, so that is only 1 day of the week out of my life. I am really trying to motivate myself for this class, but I am finding a bit of difficulty in doing so at times. I'm claiming senioritis haha. But seriously, it is important class that I should be taking seriously.

I also am on my last week (of 6) of co-leading a group for the group processes class. It has been such a blessing and wonderful, enlightening experience leading some of my fellow classmates through this whole experience. I will be truly sad when we terminate this week because I believe we all (leaders and members) learned so much going through this.

I did get to go to the Louisiana Counseling Association (LCA) conference weekend before last. It was held in NOLA, and we did have quite a time. It was nice to connect on a deeper level with some of my classmates since sometimes we don't really get to since our school is such a commuter university. It was great to learn more about counseling topics, network with professionals (even got to meet the president of ACA!), and just generally have a great time with the people around me.

Internship is finally starting to pick up and get busy (which is a good thing). I like being busy when it comes to something I enjoy doing. I found out I love doing guidance lessons, especially with books. I am slowly working up the grades (did PreK and K so far), and it is definitely building my confidence as I go. Now to hopefully get our loss group started (and me trained for it so I can help) and build up a few individual students to start seeing. It was slow to start building up my hours, especially my direct ones which is far harder than indirect ones to get. I do have a small worry in the back of my head that I won't be able to get all my hours, but I am trying not to let my focus get to far ahead and have some faith that everything will work out how it's supposed to.
**FYI:
- Direct hours are face-to-face time doing individual or group counseling, guidance lessons, or consultations with faculty or parents. Indirect hours are when you do planning, get supervision (either in classroom or on-site), doing research, or professional development activities and the like.
- I am required by our accreditation body (CACREP) to get a total of 600 hours = 240 direct + 360 indirect over the course of 2 semesters (which comes out to about 120 direct/180 indirect a semester).

As far as my personal life, well this part should be relatively short lol. I'm just living life, albeit a little quietly. Just trying to get away from some of the hustle-and-bustle that can bring stress and drama into my life, I think. I am looking to start a running program, the Couch to 5-K program... not really to lose weight but to get more active and out of the house! I have much more free time since I'm not working at the office anymore, and I figure I should be doing something useful with it lol. Pray for motivation for me please!

that's about all for now, and I'll try to be more diligent about updating this :)

it's like I'm a grown-up!

Wow, this week has been a whirlwind!

I have almost made it through my whole first week as a school counseling intern. I can truly say "I HEART THIS". The administrators are super nice, the teachers are caring, the students are nice, and my supervisor (the regular counselor) is super awesome :) This place was a blessing to be at (thanks God!), and it totally fits me. I even got my own (class)room to work out of... that is completely mine!

link to the video I made of the classroom :)
[put window to about 1/4 screen for best viewing!]

And plus, I like the dress code lol. I can wear some cute cropped pants with just a cute cotton shirt with some cute clogs and totally fit in :)


Also got to lead (actually co-lead) a group tonight for the group class... very interesting experience to say the least lol.

first step to a new journey

"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." - Benjamin Disraeli

Well, tomorrow is my first day of internship!! So full of nervous excitement about finally making it to this point. I am hoping I do well at my school placement. I really like the counselor I get to work with. She really enjoys working with the kids. I am not working anymore, so it's nice to be able to devote my full time and energy into making this a most fruitful learning experience.


I want to take this opportunity by the horns and ride it for what it is worth. I do not know what to expect, only that each bend in the journey will bring me closer to what I really want to do with my life :) I believe I was made to do this... that God gave me the gifts to help those (especially children) who need help in their life. This journey will be a roller-coaster for sure... but so is life.


I know I can do it!! Think good thoughts for me :)




PS - hopefully I may most more background fill stories from my long absence later this week

procrastination

I really want to do a blog... maybe tomorrow

lol

gotta keep moving

well I'm all moved in at the parentals!

I do have to say that me and the parents do make a hardcore moving team lol... and so far, so good!

Just been really busy (and tired) with school. Getting kind of burnt out. I love my classes, but I'm ready to be DONE!! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I want to be there already...

I MAY have an internship school site ::does happy dance:: and at the school I was kind of eyeing. Just need to take care of a few things before I know for sure. So right now, I'm just hoping and praying for the best :)


Really excited for this weekend, cuz I'm going to Kentucky to visit my 2 favorite peoples :D


On a more negative note, work politics are starting to get to me and want to get the hell out of dodge. If SELU offers me enough loan money for the fall, I'm quitting my job. On the plus side of that, I'll have more time to devote to my internship. On the downer side, I'll have to watch my $$ (not that I haven't lived tight before :p).


guess time will tell

just a life update...

wow, it's been almost 2 weeks since my last update...

Life is still going strong, even when I do not think I have the strength to do it sometimes...

Summer school is back in full swing and thankfully only taking 2 classes (instead of 3 like last summer!). I am taking advanced techniques and intro to play therapy. Both are interesting classes, but got to keep on work for both or it is easy to fall behind. Ready for them to be over... and it'll be soon enough. Next week will be my halfway point! AHHHH

Still looking for a school to do an internship at, but decided to take fate in my hands a bit. A classmate gave me a great suggestion: to email local counselors myself. So I did... I emailed 11 local counselors! I have heard from 3 so far (2 are at the same school). I'm crossing my fingers on one of them, I really want it :)


I'm moving home this weekend. I'm actually pretty excited about it. Hope my parents feel the same way...

I went to the shooting range with my Daddy last week. I thoroughly enjoyed it, both the experience and spending time with him. I got to shoot a .25 Titan pistol and .22 Ruger target pistol... and I did pretty well considering this the first time I had shot a gun... ever (and plus my Dad was an awesome teacher). I can't wait to go back.







first target with the .22 Ruger @ 10ft







Super excited about my 4th of July trip up to Kentucky to see my sister and nephew... I so cannot wait! I get to go on a mini-vacay and even better is getting to spend time with them. Can't wait for next Thursday to get here :D

how much faith??

“He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.” - B.C. Forbes

I try hard to cling to this faith. Recent events had disturbed some of my inner faith holdings… one of my coworker’s grandsons was murdered by another child. You really sit and think about life and the world when you hear that an 8 year-old was killed by a 16 year-old. It shakes you to the core of your very being, and just makes your heart ache. How can a world be so cruel?

I was thinking yesterday about my decision to go into mental health counseling, especially my decision to work with other children. I questioned how much I really wanted to go into this field, and whether or not I could do it after hearing about this. After much and still continuous reflection, I had come to a decision regarding my future. I am going to keep the path I am on. I will have the training and chance to help others, and if I can even only help one person with their pain or suffering… it will be worth it. As a counselor, we have to work not to take our work home with us. We try our hardest to help our clients, but ultimately it is up to our clients to take that initiative to change… not us. Perhaps maybe the hardest thing to realize is that we cannot help everyone and not everyone wants our help. Ultimately, some things are beyond our control as counselors… and people. It’s one of the many ambiguities you have to face as a counselor.

I look back on the quote on the quote at the beginning of this entry, and I hope and pray I can remember it when the bad, ugly side of the world rears its head like this. I pray not only for the victim’s (my coworker’s)  family, but also for the suspect’s family as well. May they both take comfort in God’s love as they deal with their grief, loss, and pain. Two families are torn apart by this senseless tragedy. We will probably never understand the “what’s” and “why’s” of this situation… and perhaps, that is what hurts the most…

I just continue to pray for the soul of young boy and for those suffering with his sudden loss that they may eventually find peace.

moving on up

"The only thing that stays the same is everything changes..." - Tracey Lawrence (Time Marches On)

so yeah, there are changes coming...

I'm moving home in a little less than 3 weeks to go live with my parents. After living on my own for 4 years, I'm going back. Plus side, it'll save me about $600/month (which is about 1/2 my monthly bills) and hang out with the family more. Other side, adapting to being under my parents' roof again. It won't be horrible, but it will be a big change for me (and them). I am thankful that I am still able to go back home if I needed. This way I can save more money (and hopefully take less loans out) this way.

It will definitely be a challenge. But we are all adults, so hopefully it will a good, positive thing :)

Summer school started today. I think classes will be pretty good. I'm taking advanced counseling techniques and intro to play therapy. My advanced techniques class only has 5 people (!) in it. The professor teaching is taking a slight pay-cut by teaching an under-capacity class (God bless him!). But I'm thinking it will actually be pretty fun since he is totally into getting our input to make the class as fulfilling and knowledgeable as possible (plus that he is a great teacher). Pretty excited about play therapy too. I love the teacher and totally excited about the subject matter. So I think that my seventh, but third to last (!) semester will be pretty darn fun!

Downer note: still waiting to hear more on internship sites for the fall after the rift between the school internship program and our program... God will work it out though I believe, just gotta wait and see :)

we are family...

sooooo.... good news! My cousin was accepted to the neuro-rehab and should be admitted tomorrow :) I am so happy for that news because I have heard nothing but great stories about this place. I'm so glad God's will is for him to go there for his rehabilitation :)

Well I went to go see him one last time while he was still in town since I knew it would be a while before I can head down to rehab place he will be moved to. But I towards the end of my visit, my aunt (the one who has disowned us) showed up with her husband, kids, and my grandfather (her dad). She saw me and turned around talking about how she'll "be right back". It makes me sad that she is not prepared to act like an adult in this situation. But, I cannot control her actions or her feelings toward my family... I can only control my actions and my feelings. I know all the aspects of the situation are God's will, so I will never really understand the bigger picture here. But I do know that those I share that 'family' feel with, I am blessed to have in my life. The family that I do still talk to, I would do anything for (and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual).

The whole situation sucks (in my opinion), but it's not under my control. We've all done what we have done, and that is that. I have pretty much made my peace with what she has done (for the most part), and she can face what she has done when it comes her time with God (as we all got to).

Monday, Monday

today started off kind of blah, but it definitely ended on a good note :)

Went into work later than usual since my neck was bothering me, and the day was kind of slow. But I was able to finalize an overnight trip to Texas to see some family I hadn't seen in a while :) I also got to hang out with my bff who I had not seen in a while. Also, I am working on finishing up a care package to send to my deployed bro-in-law later this week :)

My cousin BJ was evaluated for the neuro-rehab center again, but this time his responses were much better. We should know tomorrow on whether or not he was accepted or not (but supposedly his chances looked good).

Busy week ahead:
tomorrow (Tuesday): pick some blackberries after work at a co-workers (yum!)
Wednesday: Dr. Reid/Criminal Minds season finale night @ Emma's
Thursday: hang out with Nik/Superior (?)
Friday: SatC 2 with some of my favorite ladies!
Saturday & Sunday: trip to TX :)
Monday: no work (declared a holiday for state employees)!

light and dark, life and death... both sides of prayer

While talking to a friend today, she had told me some sad news... a friend of her's who was sick in ICU had died. It made me sad for her and for the girl's family because I had just said a prayer for her the night before.

It made me think about prayers. We like to think that God answers our prayers by doing what we ask. When in actuality, we pray that the prayers we ask of him are his will, because that's what God does... his will. Sometimes his will are the same as our prayers, sometimes they are not.  When that happens, we tend to be sad and not understand why our prayers were not answered. We are not seeing God's bigger picture or his plan. I have faith everything happens for a reason, and that everything will work out how it is supposed to. I do not try to understand God's will because I am not meant to.

Of course I am happy that God's will and my prayers for my cousin are generally the same. He is doing so wonderful. He is so awake and alert and moving around. Hopefully he will be talking and walking soon. And of course I am sad that God's will and my prayers for the girl who died were not the same. But I am trying to think of the fact that God took at her at that moment for a greater, yet unknown reason. I know I still struggle with my grief and confusion from losing several of my close family members because I still struggle to understand what I am not supposed to understand.

Even though his will and my prayers do not always mesh, it does not make me pray any less. In fact it makes me pray more. Prayer is like my own personal conversation with God, and it is never one-sided :)

I really wish my recovery were going faster than this... because waking up at 2:30 in the morning because my jaw is hurting is not my idea of funsies :p

off to the see the doc this morning for my followup...

12.0/3.0 =

well, it equals 4.0 which is my GPA for the semester :) yep got A's in all 3 of my classes. I am proud to say that I definitely worked hard to earn those 3 little letters. So that means 6 semesters down, only 3 semesters (that's only 6 classes) to go!!! guess I should order my reward soon (see previous post)...


I went to work today and survived working a full day (8.3 hours to be exact). My pain medicine makes me a little sleepy, so it was a little hard to stay awake, but I did it. It was weird to not really talk all day (guess this means I talk too much!), but I survived.

I am feeling much better than I have been. I think this will be my last night at the parent's house sadly, but I am ready to get back to my own bed :)

well bout to get ready for bed since another full day tomorrow!

love and prayers to all :)

pain = no fun

so (knock on wood), I think I'm feeling more on the upside of my teeth surgery... I may actually go back to work tomorrow.

Last night was horrible. Migraine + post surgery pain and swelling = bad. I'm really thankful that my parents are taking such good care of me.

so now hopefully I can enjoy the following 3 weeks off of school till summer semester starts...

still waiting for all my final grades to be posted, and if they are what I think they are, I am totally treating myself to a new swimsuit!

totally can't wait to order it from ModCloth :)

finally got rid of them

so this morning I got my 4 impacted wisdom teeth out... this is the first time I have lost an original body part lol

Surgery went really well I am happy to report. This afternoon was when I was in the most pain, but I am really really good now. Mouth is still sore (duh!) and can't open very wide. My Dad brought me to my appointment and took such great care of me afterwards... he made me some homemade chicken noodle soup and some chocolate pudding and just checked on me regularly to make sure if I needed anything at all. I have been blessed with such an amazing Dad (thanks God!). When my Mom got home from work, she was great too (thanks for her too God!) making sure I was comfortable and everything. I definitely can't wait to figure what to get my Dad for Father's day now next month to give him an amazing day like we did Mom.

* post-surgery pic... my sister dubbed me Mummy-Tut lol













on a great positive note, I am officially done with my spring semester... 6 semesters down!! only 3 more to go!

I will be reporting more on that school meeting I was worried about so much yesterday after I talk with my professor hopefully soon.

worried worry

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere." - Glenn Turner

it is definitely giving me something to do right now... worrying about quite a few things right now

1.) getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow
- not really too worried about the procedure, but of course since they are cutting my teeth out I'm not too thrilled about it.


2.) meeting tomorrow at school concerning the internship program I'm supposed to be doing in the fall
- I'm worried about this because a) I can't go because of my oral surgery tomorrow and b) concerns possible change of plans for the future. The meeting was announced yesterday and involves not just the newbies who are starting the program (like me) but also the ones who will doing it for the 2nd and final semester of internship. This worries me... a lot.  My main concern is that because of possible budget cuts that the internship will not be paid anymore (it is now @ $10/hr, not much but hey better than no pay at all). I can't really work with internship, so I would be living off loans alone if this is the case. I would really prefer it not come to that. So I have to wait to hear what news is to be said until one of my classmates calls me tomorrow after it...

a-yi-yi-yi

a smile and a laugh

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." - Mother Teresa

So my cousin was moved from ICU to a long term care facility till he can hopefully get moved to the neuro-rehab facility. He makes so many little steps every day. He still has a long way to go, but I know God will lead him out of the hospital one day after his recovery journey is over. But the nice thing about this place is the more open visiting hours (instead of 30min every 4hrs).

I went to visit after work with him and the family. I was so lucky to see the most amazing act... BJ smiled and laughed as his girlfriend and niece tickled his hand. It was such a truly blessed sight. My heart was filled with so much love and happiness. God is truly doing his will with BJ's recovery. I have complete faith that BJ will get to walk out of the hospital one day. I know it will be a long, arduous journey, but what a better companion to have than God by your side?



on another happy note... I finished my last paper (piece of work) for the spring semester, and all I have left is to attend class tomorrow night to get my 200pts (counts as my final)... then I'm done! well for 3 weeks anyways lol

new beginnings

"With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was just thinking about this earlier today about something I had read while I was at adoration this past weekend.

Every day, every hour, every minute is the chance of a new start and beginning. God gives us the opportunity so many times in our life to try and try again. Most of us don't even think about this chance or don't even consider it thinking what we did was so bad or wrong. I believe God challenges us to take these moments and better ourselves from this previous one. It doesn't have to be anything major or mind-blowing, just little things. We can learn how to grow and be better people both inside ourselves and towards others.

It also ties into the thought of mindfulness, to live in the moment. We take every breath we are giving and just live it to the best of our ability. We do not live in the past, nor do we live in the future... we live in the now. If you focus on the past, you will be living your life in the past and forget to live in the present... same can be said about the future.

so close

such a double-edged title...

This semester of school is so close to end, I can taste the sweetness on my tongue. Only 1 more paper to write up and an open-notes finals... officially done next Wednesday evening (since I have attend 1 last substance abuse class which counts as my 200pt final... no go = no 200 points :p). Which also happens to be the night before I get my wisdom teeth out... oh joy lol.


This also refers to my cousin, he is making slow baby steps in recovery. God is answering our prayers one at a time. He is brain is in such a deep fog... I pray to God several times a day for him to help my cousin to find his way through the fog. I know he can do it. Our family is praying that he gets accepted to a nice neuro-rehab center soon where he can better recover. If you read this, please pray for him.


much love and off to bed!

blessings

"I have seen, 

The healing hand of God, 

Reaching out and mending broken hearts.

Taste and see the fullness of His peace, 

And hold on to what's being held out.

The healing hand of God..." - Jeremy Camp: Healing Hand of God

God has been laying his healing hand on my cousin and answering our prayers for him in our family. He answers one little prayer at a time. First, he answered when he let him pull through and not die. Then, he answered by showing us that my cousin did not have as much brain damage as we thought. And now, he answers by letting him improve and recover a little bit each day. It makes me so happy and thankful to hear all these updates on him :)

I truly think that every thing happens for a reason and is all part of God's plan. He brought me back in touch with that part of my family (reference back to my post on forgiveness a few weeks ago). And I was able to help my other family members reconnect with them also. I was able to be there when my new cousin was born, and be there when this accident happened. Just make me go wow...


School is finally winding down! Only 2 papers, 1 project, and maybe 1 final left (should find out tomorrow in class)... woot!!!!