finally got rid of them

so this morning I got my 4 impacted wisdom teeth out... this is the first time I have lost an original body part lol

Surgery went really well I am happy to report. This afternoon was when I was in the most pain, but I am really really good now. Mouth is still sore (duh!) and can't open very wide. My Dad brought me to my appointment and took such great care of me afterwards... he made me some homemade chicken noodle soup and some chocolate pudding and just checked on me regularly to make sure if I needed anything at all. I have been blessed with such an amazing Dad (thanks God!). When my Mom got home from work, she was great too (thanks for her too God!) making sure I was comfortable and everything. I definitely can't wait to figure what to get my Dad for Father's day now next month to give him an amazing day like we did Mom.

* post-surgery pic... my sister dubbed me Mummy-Tut lol













on a great positive note, I am officially done with my spring semester... 6 semesters down!! only 3 more to go!

I will be reporting more on that school meeting I was worried about so much yesterday after I talk with my professor hopefully soon.

worried worry

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere." - Glenn Turner

it is definitely giving me something to do right now... worrying about quite a few things right now

1.) getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow
- not really too worried about the procedure, but of course since they are cutting my teeth out I'm not too thrilled about it.


2.) meeting tomorrow at school concerning the internship program I'm supposed to be doing in the fall
- I'm worried about this because a) I can't go because of my oral surgery tomorrow and b) concerns possible change of plans for the future. The meeting was announced yesterday and involves not just the newbies who are starting the program (like me) but also the ones who will doing it for the 2nd and final semester of internship. This worries me... a lot.  My main concern is that because of possible budget cuts that the internship will not be paid anymore (it is now @ $10/hr, not much but hey better than no pay at all). I can't really work with internship, so I would be living off loans alone if this is the case. I would really prefer it not come to that. So I have to wait to hear what news is to be said until one of my classmates calls me tomorrow after it...

a-yi-yi-yi

a smile and a laugh

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." - Mother Teresa

So my cousin was moved from ICU to a long term care facility till he can hopefully get moved to the neuro-rehab facility. He makes so many little steps every day. He still has a long way to go, but I know God will lead him out of the hospital one day after his recovery journey is over. But the nice thing about this place is the more open visiting hours (instead of 30min every 4hrs).

I went to visit after work with him and the family. I was so lucky to see the most amazing act... BJ smiled and laughed as his girlfriend and niece tickled his hand. It was such a truly blessed sight. My heart was filled with so much love and happiness. God is truly doing his will with BJ's recovery. I have complete faith that BJ will get to walk out of the hospital one day. I know it will be a long, arduous journey, but what a better companion to have than God by your side?



on another happy note... I finished my last paper (piece of work) for the spring semester, and all I have left is to attend class tomorrow night to get my 200pts (counts as my final)... then I'm done! well for 3 weeks anyways lol

new beginnings

"With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was just thinking about this earlier today about something I had read while I was at adoration this past weekend.

Every day, every hour, every minute is the chance of a new start and beginning. God gives us the opportunity so many times in our life to try and try again. Most of us don't even think about this chance or don't even consider it thinking what we did was so bad or wrong. I believe God challenges us to take these moments and better ourselves from this previous one. It doesn't have to be anything major or mind-blowing, just little things. We can learn how to grow and be better people both inside ourselves and towards others.

It also ties into the thought of mindfulness, to live in the moment. We take every breath we are giving and just live it to the best of our ability. We do not live in the past, nor do we live in the future... we live in the now. If you focus on the past, you will be living your life in the past and forget to live in the present... same can be said about the future.

so close

such a double-edged title...

This semester of school is so close to end, I can taste the sweetness on my tongue. Only 1 more paper to write up and an open-notes finals... officially done next Wednesday evening (since I have attend 1 last substance abuse class which counts as my 200pt final... no go = no 200 points :p). Which also happens to be the night before I get my wisdom teeth out... oh joy lol.


This also refers to my cousin, he is making slow baby steps in recovery. God is answering our prayers one at a time. He is brain is in such a deep fog... I pray to God several times a day for him to help my cousin to find his way through the fog. I know he can do it. Our family is praying that he gets accepted to a nice neuro-rehab center soon where he can better recover. If you read this, please pray for him.


much love and off to bed!

blessings

"I have seen, 

The healing hand of God, 

Reaching out and mending broken hearts.

Taste and see the fullness of His peace, 

And hold on to what's being held out.

The healing hand of God..." - Jeremy Camp: Healing Hand of God

God has been laying his healing hand on my cousin and answering our prayers for him in our family. He answers one little prayer at a time. First, he answered when he let him pull through and not die. Then, he answered by showing us that my cousin did not have as much brain damage as we thought. And now, he answers by letting him improve and recover a little bit each day. It makes me so happy and thankful to hear all these updates on him :)

I truly think that every thing happens for a reason and is all part of God's plan. He brought me back in touch with that part of my family (reference back to my post on forgiveness a few weeks ago). And I was able to help my other family members reconnect with them also. I was able to be there when my new cousin was born, and be there when this accident happened. Just make me go wow...


School is finally winding down! Only 2 papers, 1 project, and maybe 1 final left (should find out tomorrow in class)... woot!!!!

wave hello

the closing crazy weeks of school have just come to bid me hello...

I just really want to tell it "booyah! (and go to hell!)"

broken heart

my heart hurts :(

no details, but please just keep my cousin and family in your prayers

oh how I love a good quote

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."- Thornton Wilder

it took me a little while to figure out what I wanted to write about... then I was just think about how grateful I am for what I have in life... it's not much, but it's enough.

to name a few: God, my family (especially since some broken bonds are slowly being mended), my friends, a house to live in, food to eat, a decent paying job, earning a graduate degree (despite the accumulating debt), freedom from persecution, relatively good health, an open heart, and the chance to help others...

All to often we forget what we have and complain about what we don't have. It usually takes losing something good to realize the value of what we even lost. Life may be tough, but chances are if you are reading this, you and I do not know what tough is.

I'm trying to call myself out to service more... to serve good to others. I do not give as often as I could... my selfishness > my selflessness. I am going to start praying for the Lord's help to help me to even or change the direction of it. Please pray for me as well if you are reading this...

if you're happy and you know it :)

I've been in a really great mood today... really don't know why.

Even in sitting in traffic this morning (30 extra minutes worth :p) didn't really phase it. It is such a wonderful feeling to be truly happy... to be happy for you and not someone else.

maybe I'm excited about things to come...

I mean after all, I only have 4 weeks left of school and my school work load keeps getting smaller and smaller. My sister and nephew are about to come down for a long visit (yay!). Family ties are getting mended. Excited about adoration on Sunday.

I really do love adoration... I find myself looking forward to it more and more each week :)

well enough chatter, I'm going to enjoy a rare night off from school work!!!

another one bites the dust

ahhhh... the satisfaction of another paper done :) my week can wind down a little till I get ready for another week of papers :p

but...
- only 4 more papers (1 is a final)
- 2 projects (1 will done tomorrow evening)
- 2 finals

not looking to bad, almost in the home stretch!

happy every day

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." - Groucho Marx

I had this on my Facebook today... seemed to be quite popular...


It's sometimes a hard thing to remember that we have the power ever single God-given day to choose whether or not it will be happy. We tend to remember the dead yesterdays and dwell on their happenings too much, or focus too much on the tomorrows which have not even come to fruition. Remembering to live in the now, to be mindful of where our mind and feelings are, only then can we be really happy :)

grumble grumble

I really do hate migraines. They totally ruin a perfectly good God-given day :p


Adoration was wonderful last night... even when I was so tired I thought I was going to go to sleep praying in my seat. Church this afternoon was nice also, albeit I was still a little sleepy.

went to lunch (and dinner) at my parents' since my Dad was grilling... but of course a migraine totally ruined my appetite since they tend to make me nauseous. So I took a Maxalt and laid down for what ended up being a 2hr-ish nap. I didn't intend to stay so late over there, but my parents didn't mind. Then I woke up so I could come home and work on the 2 papers I have due this week.

but... I still have a tinge in my head so I think I'm just going to lay down. They totally screw up my plans... I know I will get my papers done before they are due, but I would have liked to some work done on them.

(night)

when God opens a door...

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.  ~Paul Boese

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.  ~Harriet Nelson

today was such an eclectic day.

early morning was spent with friends, Pictionary, and taco dip...


After coming home from that fun night, I received an unexpected phone call from my cousin that I had not seen or really spoken to in almost 1 1/2 years... they gave me an visit invitation... and I took it. I didn't think twice about saying no to them... it just felt right. I felt that God opened a door... and I am not one to deny the chance to go through it. He will not let me go anywhere I cannot handle without him by my side. I did not go scared or angry... I went with the hope and longing to close a wound that had been open too long on my soul.



I have been praying on many things lately: school, family, my faith questions, and being a better person overall. Well forgiveness seems like it fall under both the better person overall and faith questions categories.


Forgiveness is a tricky creature. There is always the quote "forgive and forget." That's always easier said than done. While progressing through the counseling program, I try to deal with my own personal issues to better be able to deal with client's. I have family issues, primarily in my extended family. Those of you who know me, know this. There was a lot of negative emotions, miscommunication, and heartbreak in the air over much of this. I tried looking back on it with fresh eyes, trying to see what I hadn't seen before. I always wondered however, how I could forgive those that had caused me so much sorrow? I know God commands us to forgive, and I wanted to... but my heart and mind were at odds mostly on this contention. I am presently trying at this fact to forgive. I know I cannot change the past, and it really does no good to dwell on it (except really to see what you learned from it). In myself, I put forgiveness and love together; to forgive someone was to open myself back to love them again.  I am learning that I do not have to do that. I can forgive them, but I do not necessarily have to love them again. The person most I have been struggling most with this (an aunt) may be my blood, but I do not have to claim them as family. I just need to forgive her wrongs towards me, move on, and break the anchor of negative feelings that hold us together so I can move forward.

To me family is not blood, but a bond that cannot be explained. It is not a person, but a feeling of love and compassion toward the other. Family is not just connected by the blood cells running through our veins, but the feelings in our heart and soul. And I know I can't change the ways others feel about one another, but I know I can change my feelings within myself by my choice and choice alone.


less than an hour to adoration... I missed my date with God last week... We have so much to talk about, especially after today. I'm really excited to sit down and pray and reflect on what God opened up to me recently :)

no making excuses now lol

well I guess I have no more excuses for not working on my papers more now lol... my Mac used to previously reside on the beanbag chair that I used to have in this spot in my room... now the Mac thinks it special or something because it gets to sit on a desk.

my Dad made this desk especially for me :) out of cypress (and love)!



the Charged Particle (aka my car, a Saturn Ion) now has new brakes and fresh oil (also thanks to my Dad)! glad she is all better. I'm very thankful that my car is working so well after all I put her through in the first few years I had her (we're going on year 6 now). she may not be the fanciest car on the block, but I sure hope she lasts me a good long while :)



well lemme work on my movie review paper for substance abuse a bit before bed... making progress one paper at a time... trying to keep my focus on this instead of some of the other things I have weighing on my mind. I really can't wait till adoration on Sat night/Sun morning to help me clear my head. I always find that having that one-on-one time with God to be one of the highlights of my week.  I always feel more clear-headed and less stressed afterwards... I really need that right now...

"There is a way, there is a spark,
there is a hope that you can hold on to.
There is a lifeline come to the rescue,
just like a hand that's waiting for you.
And if you believe in this I promise that you won't be alone."
There is a way, the truth and the life, and the way..." - Newworldson

looking slightly better

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji

today turned out much better than I thought it would... and in pretty good mood despite other things...

made homemade pulled pork for dinner (yum!), gonna try and finish my AA paper, and then 'Criminal Minds' and 'In Plain Sight'...

then off to camp at my parents' house so my Dad can look at my car... my brakes decided to make fun grinding noises on the way home from work today while sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-12... guess I can't really complain though... it's the 1st time they have given me problems and she already has 100,000+ miles on her...

peace be with you...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27 NIV

I certainly pray for peace of mind this morning...

another procrastination method

so yeah, I'm procrastinating on my papers, again... I think I'm thinking too much on the future and what is coming up... but here is what I have left as far as school work this semester (which ends May 13th)

counseling children:
- 2 more journals (1 paragraph each)
- activity project + 5-6pg paper on population of choice
- final

cross-cultural counseling:
- movie project* + 4-6pg paper on reflection of cultural issues presented
- 3-5pg walk a mile interview paper*
- final

substance abuse:
- 3-5pg movie paper*
- 3-5pg AA paper*
- addiction counselor interview paper
- final (3-5pg paper on topic of choice)


WWHHEEWW!!

*due next week :p

it costs how much?!

went to see my oral surgeon for a consultation this afternoon because my dentist told me I needed to get all four of them removed pretty soon...

doctor seems nice, office staff too...


but it's going to cost me around $2100 with my health insurance dental discount... I guess it could be worse at $2700 which was the cost before the discount... but the office staff was really nice about working with me so I can pay it. they're letting me split into 4 payments instead of 2 ($530 is better than $1060), so I'm not as much out of pocket. that much money to remove 4 little teeth...


I dream of the day when I have a real person adult job with real health and dental benefits (and paid leave)... one day ::sigh::


but I trust in God to take care of things... they work out, they just always do :)

Catholicism

found these two article on NPR the past few weeks...two different views on Catholic faith and identity

On Good Friday, Here's Why I Remain Catholic - by ELIZABETH SCALIA


There is a reason I came back to the Catholic church earlier last year, and it wasn't for the Communion wine. I grew up Catholic. I was baptized and confirmed in this faith. But it wasn't until college that I really decided that I didn't know if it was me. I went through a deistic phase... an agonistic phase... it never seemed like it fit with my soul though. But I came back, and my heart and soul knew they were home again with God. Faith is never simply understood. It is personal journey each person has to make. I still am not at terms with some of the Catholic doctrine and goings-on (i.e. contraceptives, evolution, abuse scandal, etc.). I struggle with my faith everyday, but I challenge myself to keep learning and expanding what it means to believe in God and the Catholic church.

The author sums it up best here:
I want my church to shine. But I understand that everything, from our institutions to our innermost beings, are seen through a glass, darkly. Arms outstretched, listening for the Word, and its echoing liturgy, I make my way forward, in bright hope.


Leaving The Church But Not The Identity - by JULIANNA BAGGOTT


I like this article because I can definitely identify with it. Faith can and will be a struggle. My Catholic identity has been and always be a part of me (even subconsciously). I know I don't have perfect faith in the institution of the church, which so recently is plagued by sin and human fallibility. So I try to put my faith in the highest place, in God, trusting that he will show me what it means to keep faith in his church.


Said best here:
What does it mean to be Catholic and not a Catholic? I feel adrift, homeless.